Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Touching Base! Part 207

Botox Church 2013, PART 11
Jesus Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks You Are A Jerk!


(You can find a recording of this sermon here.)

This Touching Base is a useful tool for small group discussion, personal reflection or in a one-on-one conversation. We believe that if the Sunday teaching is discussed outside of the morning services, it will be an opportunity to go deeper and build healthy community because God's Word needs to be discussed in community.

I know, not a very nice title right? But isn’t it oh-so-very true! How many times have you thought that? How many times have you thought that Jesus may love them, but “I’m not sure I am at that place right now”? In this final message on Botox Church we talked about demonstrating epic love to difficult people. Paul found himself exactly in that spot.

Text: 1 Cor. 4:14-21
Big Idea: Hanging in with tough/difficult people will push us to the edge. By edge I mean to a point of running out of energy and determination.
Question: What are the edges that we often come to in challenging relationships?

Paul demonstrates a positive model in the following four examples of edges.

The Edge of Grace (v.14)
“One of the distinctive features of the religion of the bible is grace. No other system of religious thought, past or present, contains an emphasis on divine grace comparable to that of the Bible.”

Have you ever been to the edge of grace? Ever felt like you are about to run out of grace?
In Hebrew, “grace” means “good, merry, pleasant, friendly, kind, morally good”. Grace involves such other subjects as forgiveness, salvation, regeneration, repentance and the love of God.
In the Greek, one of the ideas that struck me, in light of our subject matter, is that grace includes the idea of the divine power which equips a person to live a moral life. Moral as in, “I feel like killing that person but instead I will let them live another day!” Oh how kind we are!

Notice the specific example of grace in our text. It is seen in v.14 and in the contrast between “shame” versus “warn” -
“Shame” means to feel disgrace, inferior, unworthy, embarrassed, belittle, demean, while “warn” means to try to correct while not provoking or embittering, to call to one’s attention.

I think this can be a very hard line not to cross. When we run out of grace we can quickly run into shame tactics.
Do you have a hall of fame of shame? Times that you have crossed over and shamed someone or been shamed yourself?

On Sunday I talked about all the ways that we can shame a person. Talk about this in your group. I mentioned how tone of voice, body posture, choice of words can shame someone. Sometimes bringing up old issues can shame someone or revealing someone’s secret in public can shame them.

Do you have any “shame tapes” that play in your head of someone shaming you? We have all heard that sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. How big of a lie is that? Words of shame can torpedo our souls!

Are you near the edge, on the edge, over the edge when it comes to exercising grace in a tough relationship?

The Edge of Commitment (v.14,15,17,18)
Note the statements in all these verses that demonstrate Paul’s commitment to them.
  • He calls them “dear children”. “Agapao” (dear) is the strongest kind of love, the deepest love, an affectionate address. An address of value, priority, importance and commitment.
  • He reminds them that he is their spiritual father - they may have many teachers/guardians but only one spiritual father.
  • He sends his very best, Timothy, to tend to their needs.
  • He mentions that he will come to them very soon.

What makes this interesting is that while Paul is hanging on to them, many of them have let go of him. They are rejecting and abandoning him, but he is doing the exact opposite. Commitment!
Note what is happening: Paul is modeling grace in the face of their nastiness, and commitment in the face of rejection. When we are committed we will often find ourselves doing the opposite of what the person may be doing to us. This is exactly Paul’s case. Some of them have rejected him, but he is affirming his commitment to them.

Are you near the edge, on the edge, over the edge when it comes to walking out commitment in a challenging relationship?

The Edge of Integrity (v.16)
We get our English word “mimic” from Paul’s statement, “follow me.” What impresses me with this statement is that he is saying this to some folks who are tough to love. Tough people to love tend to take us to our lowest points, our worst moments, our yuckiest days. He is essentially saying that while you Corinthians may have pushed me to the edge, and while I might have even considered jumping, I didn’t. By the grace of God!!!!!
Could you say to that tough person in your life “follow me as I follow Christ?”
If not, why not?
In what relational sphere is it easiest to lose your integrity? Family, work, friends, ...
What do you suggest one does when one goes over the edge on the issue of integrity?
Are you near the edge, on the edge, over the edge when it comes to integrity?

The Edge of Courage (v.18-21)
Where do you see the courage in Paul’s words in these verses?
Sometimes in tough relationships we run out of gas to confront, to say the hard thing, to jump in to the person’s issues. We can find ourselves in one of two extremes: we drop a bomb and blow the person out of the water - no grace - and we lose our integrity in the process. Or, we say nothing because we have come to the edge and gone over regarding energy, willingness and patience.

Discuss the following:
Have you ever sat down, made the phone call and had the tough conversation, and it all worked out really well? Got those stories?
Have you ever sat down and had the tough conversation and it all worked out really poorly? Like dropping a pumpkin from the 10 floor of an high rise- splat. Got those stories?
Ever wished you did muster up the courage to have the tough conversation but did not? You may now see the fall out that might have been prevented if only you had spoken up.

Are you near the edge, on the edge, over the edge when it comes to courage?

Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you are a jerk.

How about changing that to “Jesus loves you and yes others, many others may think you are a jerk, but by God’s grace, by the life of God in me I will love you so you can see this amazing Jesus that loves so perfectly!” The heart of the Gospel is epic love (Romans 5:8). Might we live epic lives!



Mark
If interested in joining or starting a small group contact bethelcommunitygroups@gmail.com

REFLECTION ON SCRIPTURE

Adapted from Dave Veerman, the senior editor of The Life Application Bible. He suggests you ask nine questions of the text:
  1. People: Who are the people in this passage and how are they like us today?
  2. Place: What is the setting and what are the similarities to our world?
  3. Plot: What is happening? Is there any conflict or tension? How would I have acted in that situation?
  4. Point: What was the intended message for the first people to hear this passage? What did God want them to learn or feel or do?
  5. Principles: What are the timeless truths?
  6. Present: How is this relevant in our world today?
  7. Parallels: Where does this truth apply to my life? At home, at work, at school, in church, in the neighborhood?
  8. Personal: What attitude, action, value, or belief needs to change in me?
  9. Plan: What would be my first step of action?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Touching Base! Part 205

Botox Church 2013, PART 9
Fatal Distractions


(You can find a recording of this sermon here.)

This Touching Base is a useful tool for small group discussion, personal reflection or in a one-on-one conversation. We believe that if the Sunday teaching is discussed outside of the morning services, it will be an opportunity to go deeper and build healthy community because God's Word needs to be discussed in community.

Agree or disagree?  When you set your heart to walk in obedience you can often expect pushback.

What can represent the pushback? Pushback can come from any direction, any source and sometimes the least expected source. In our text we see Paul referring to different sources of pushback. I call these Fatal Distractions - experiences and realities that can divert, distract, and prevent us from walking in obedience, pushing ahead and staying on the path that God wants us to walk.

Text: 1 Corinthians 4:1-5
Big Idea: To remain faithful we need to contend with Fatal Distractions.

Note Paul’s Calling (v.1)

What are the key words that would define his calling? Note the pronoun, showing that he is not referring to just himself.
The phrase “secret things of God”, many think, is a Greek phrase that Paul stole. Paul is using it to reference the Gospel that is the “foolishness” of God. See 1:21-25, 2:7-10

Note The Challenge (v.2)

What must those who have been given a trust prove?
All Christ followers are servants, entrusted/stewards of the Gospel. How that plays out for each of us is different. Gifts, passions, life call - all shape how this works itself out. Nonetheless, we must prove faithful, endure, be reliable, and trustworthy. It is with this admonition that Paul raises three fatal distractions that can divert our focus.

Note The Fatal Distractions (v.3-5)

1. Critics (v.3)

Paul is not talking about constructive critics, the one that come alongside us because they love us and want to make us better people. He is talking about nasty, mean critics: their tongues are sharp, their intentions are dark and their glance is cutting. Paul had those kinds of critics in Corinth. They attacked his gospel, apostleship, gifting and basically rejected him.
How much does Paul care about the words of his critics? Do you think this meant they didn’t hurt him at all or that the hurt was felt but not deeply? Can you say of your nasty critics, “I care very little”?
I think one of the clues in the text that helps us understand how Paul could say this is seen in the word “servant”, used in v. 3:5 and 4:1. As a servant, his identity was rooted in Christ, (“servant” is an identity word), his security was established and his assignment was clear, thus critics’ words were a very small thing. He knew Who he answered to. See v.4.

Do you think many get sidelined because of nasty critics?
How can nasty critics soil our souls and hinder our hearts?
What does it mean to prove faithful in light of nasty critics?
Do you agree that this issue – critics - can be a fatal distraction?

2. Conscience (v.4)

Critics can be nasty, but consciences can be..... Note the big BUT in v.4. Note what Paul is saying: one’s conscience can be a faulty means of assessing if one is being faithful, staying the course. In fact, if your conscience is your guide, there is a good chance you are way off course and possibly not even knowing it.

The word conscience means to be “with knowledge”. Where does the conscience get such knowledge? What does v.4b suggest is the source of the conscience’s knowledge? The healthy conscience is informed by objective moral laws and truth. The Moral Law Giver ultimately informs and shapes the conscience.

When Paul says he doesn’t even judge himself, he is referring to a certain kind of judgment - ultimate judgement. The conscience is not able to make the ultimate judgment. Only God can. Paul was judging all kinds of issues in Corinth, but ultimate judgment belongs to God. Our systems are broken and faulty and require an ultimate judge.

What was one of the many problems in Corinth? They had what they thought was a clear conscience BUT that did not mean they were innocent. Note in v.5:1,2 - they are proud but they should be ashamed. They are not proving faithful, they are way off course and their blind guide – conscience - is leading the way! Their conscience was not being informed and shaped by God’s word and the Holy Spirit, but rather by worldliness. See v.3:3.

A fatal distraction is when our misinformed conscience supplants the authority of the Lord in our lives.

I think this is a huge problem in our Christian culture these days. Here are statements that illustrate the problem. Discuss and add your own.

“I really feel that this is okay….”
“My conscience is clear”
“I have talked to some of my friends and they agree…”
“I don’t see anything wrong with this…”
“Hey it’s working for me so why not continue in this direction?”
“We just really feel that this is the best for us right now.”

What does one need to do to prove faithful in light of this second fatal distraction?

3. Motives (v.5) ( I will keep this short)

Again note what kind of judgment Paul is talking about. What can we not clearly judge? What is hidden?
These words of Paul reveal a third fatal distraction - our motives. Paul wants them to come clean on their hearts before God. While our behaviour might be looking ok, our hearts could be very unhealthy. As God’s servants, He doesn’t just want our faithful acts, but a faithful, transformed heart. However, reality is that many unguarded hearts have compromised faithfulness. They have allowed broken motives to be the key drivers of their hearts.

As you wrap up, list wrong motives that can be fatal distractions, then pray for whole hearts.

Might we all prove faithful in contending with fatal distractions.

Mark
If interested in joining or starting a small group contact bethelcommunitygroups@gmail.com

REFLECTION ON SCRIPTURE

Adapted from Dave Veerman, the senior editor of The Life Application Bible. He suggests you ask nine questions of the text:
  1. People: Who are the people in this passage and how are they like us today?
  2. Place: What is the setting and what are the similarities to our world?
  3. Plot: What is happening? Is there any conflict or tension? How would I have acted in that situation?
  4. Point: What was the intended message for the first people to hear this passage? What did God want them to learn or feel or do?
  5. Principles: What are the timeless truths?
  6. Present: How is this relevant in our world today?
  7. Parallels: Where does this truth apply to my life? At home, at work, at school, in church, in the neighborhood?
  8. Personal: What attitude, action, value, or belief needs to change in me?
  9. Plan: What would be my first step of action?